First off I'd like to say what a swell guy Sam is for letting us stay in his house and use his van and stuff.  He's a great band member and a real master of the harmonica.  He adds a lot to this group musically, not just financially. 

A few weeks ago Sam got a letter in the mail from _______ Records demanding that the Boyngles stop playing "Manic Monday" and "Walk Like an Egyptian" at our concerts, 'cause we don't own the rights to those songs.  (Sam got the letter cause all of our bookings are done in his name. )
Well, ________ Records, don't you know what a TRIBUTE band is?
Do you think that we could write songs as good as the Bangles?
Do you think that Sam is scared that you threatened to sue him for copyright infringement?
Do you think that Say Anything is better than Some Kind of Wonderful?
If you think ANY of those things, than you're crazy.  The Boyngles will never stop playing those songs, unless we don't get any more gigs or Sam kicks us out of the house.  Or the van breaks down. *

ps - Obviously it's female leper.  Female leopard would be "leopardess. "